The first of many

As you probably know now, Brandon and I are expecting our first child. We found out on January 28, 2008. It is difficult to determine our due date according to cycles and such. We're guessing the earliest is the end of September and most likely around the beginning of October. It was a total surprise and Brandon and I wanted it to be that way. We're not into planning our life out because you never know what tomorrow might bring. We always want it in the hands of God and for Him to lead us with guidance and wisdom in all things. So, HE decided to give us one of the greatest blessings, a child. Besides, knowing about a surprise party isn't all that fun when you know what's coming when you walk through that door.

We have all our paper work, doctor, and insurance worked out. It took a few days of waiting in lines and driving all around town but we finally have it all taken care of. We went to the doctor for the first time on Friday, February 8th for a consultation with the doctor. She's a spunky head-strong career woman who loves babies (along with the red hair that's buzzed about an inch high from her head, haha). She's in her early 40's and has a little girl that's about to turn 7. She's certified with Italy but has also studied and worked in London and Miami, which means she speaks english! My italian is coming along but when it comes to understanding medical terms, I'm lost. We will go to the hospital on Monday for blood work and to run 4 types of tests on me.

On a funny note, I joke around with Brandon in that he jinxed me into getting pregnant. Although you can never really jinx someone to get pregnant. On New Year's evening, after we did the Midnight toast, Brandon turned to me and said "Hey, it's a new year, 12 months, we can say that we could have a baby this year!" I didn't want to say anything to disappoint him but I was thinking "not a chance". Not that I didn't want a baby, it's just that he's been saying things similar to this every since the first day of our marriage. So it was more like a running joke. I actually would get really excited every time he mentioned it and would find myself looking at baby stuff on the internet and pregnancy facts every time I was at least an hour "late" every month.

People get so tied up in having to have everything perfect according to certain standards. And what "standards" are we actually referring to? And who exactly wrote this so called invisible book that it's the best to go by? The typical 4 bedroom house, 2 car garage and the 2.5 kids. It's not wrong to want that or if you already have that (even though that .5 kid might look a little strange), but it's not what life's about and it's not the main focus to have. I'll be honest with you, I had that view on life. But now I have found myself on a totally different path than what I imagined. And you know what, that's ok. I would have never imagined having a baby in a foreign country and at times it's a little scary and there are times where I wished I was back in the States in the security of my known where-abouts. But it's ok with me. I know it's ok to be scared about it, it's normal. And better yet, I know God will never leave me through those hard times. Just like the flood, there was a rainbow afterwards and during a storm there is sunshine and blue skies above those dark clouds.